What can I do to take care of myself as a caregiver of a loved one living with mental illness?

What is self-care?

Self-care is the practice of taking regular action to protect your well-being and happiness. It helps you be strong in stressful situations, maintain a positive relationship with yourself and the people you love, and take care of your physical and emotional health.

Self-care is not just one action; it is the ongoing practice of choosing activities that help you take care of overall well-being. Some self-care practices apply to everyone and may seem obvious – get enough sleep, move your body throughout the day, and eat food that helps nourish and energize your body. However, most self-care practices are unique to each person, their needs, and their interests. 

Self-care as a caregiver – getting creative

Practicing self-care as a caregiver can feel tough, but it’s important. If you feel too busy or overwhelmed with your caregiving duties, being creative and taking small steps can help.

We asked dozens of caregivers whose loved ones live with serious mental illness how they use creativity to prioritize their own self-care and wellness. Use their stories and the creative self-care ideas listed below to get started on your own self-care journey!

Caregiver self-care stories

Building a Path - “I’m a walker, a forest walker. Long hikes in the local parks allow me to carve out time and space to find peace. Many years ago, while my son was experiencing a setback, I began the practice of meditation using a metaphor. On each walk, I would select a stone that appealed to me because it was beautiful, different, or interesting, dust it off, and place it in my pocket. Throughout the walk, that stone would be my token of where I had been. After returning home, it would be added to the stone path I’d built over the years. In my mind, the purpose of the path was to lead me from where I’d been during times of turmoil and grief towards peace and healing. It’s a long and winding path now built with a variety of different stones. At one time, I could tell you where each stone was found, but today collectively they represent my caregiver journey.”

Dinner Time - “I have to put dinner on the table for my family every night. I love to cook, it relaxes me. So, I make that time about giving something to myself while I feed my family. I teach myself how to make a new recipe every week. Everyone wins: my family enjoys new delicious, nutritious meals, and I immerse myself in in the experience of learning and creating.”

Backyard Oasis - “During a time when our loved one was very ill and needed our almost constant presence at home, we created an outdoor space where we could seek out beauty and get some respite for ourselves. We filled several dozen planters with colorful flowers, and we would take breaks to sit outside among the blooms and read books or watch butterflies or listen to the birds.”

Creativity with Community #1 - “Tomorrow I am hosting a crafting day with friends. We want time for people to get out what they are working on and have a chunk of time to do it. It is going to be 6 hours - we have painting, beading, Cricut, sewing, Christmas jewelry trees and concrete stepping stones all happening. I am just providing the space and snacks. You need to schedule this type of time...and have fun!”

Creativity with Community #2 – “A friend began holding events for other family caregivers in her own backyard, and provided materials to draw, paint, or color and a simple refreshment (e.g., ice water, citrus water, carrot sticks, orange segments) to meet her own need to be in community.”

Puzzles & Sound Baths- “I really find do much calming in my brain doing puzzles, I'm not quite sure what it is about it! All the outside world melts away, and next thing you know, 2 hours has gone by, and I feel so much better. I also go to monthly Sound Baths."

Getting Out of the House - “Try and commit to something social that takes you out of your home. That might be a gym work out, a yoga class, a reading group, an art class, attending a Family Support Group, or board game night.”

Boundaries - “Mental illness brings chaos into your life, and you can lose yourself in the demands of caregiving. One of my steadfast self-care practices is to limit my son to one call a day. At precisely 6:00 pm each day, we chat on the phone about his day's wins and losses. He has my full attention for as long as he wants, and I have the rest of the day to live outside of my caregiving role.”

Be Ready to be Real - “It’s about getting comfortable with showing up just as yourself, especially in times of crisis. We don’t have to show up neat and tidy - life is messy.”

Deepening my Faith - “I have a daily spiritual practice. I take comfort from attending religious services daily and deepening my faith.”

Living with Intention - “Being engaged in the fight against the damage mental illness does to people and their families is a form of self-care. My son's diagnosis changed the trajectory of my life and put me on a track to join NAMI and expand its helpline's capacity to help many more people like my son and me. Living life with purpose and passion is the silver lining.”

Self-preservation - “Our world was upended when my son was struck by mental illness. Very quickly, I realized that my wellness and mental health were tightly tied to his, so survival for us both and some form of normalcy for the family depended on forging a path to recovery as quickly as possible by any means. Self-care and survival for me was fighting the system, accessing resources, locking in treatment, and loving him through it side-by-side.”

Other creative caregiver self-care strategies

Take a long shower or bath

Consider adding candles, music, or scents that relax or re-energize you

Create a space at home for spiritual practice

Try setting up an altar, table, or closet with religious pictures and objects
Consider keeping a journal where you can write about your spiritual journey

Attend a virtual class or workshop on a topic you are interested in

Consider woodworking, baking, knitting, or other hobbies and crafts

Have fun at public events

Try going to local arts festivals, concerts, cultural festivals, and museums

Learn something new by signing up for a class or interest group

E.g., book clubs, knitting, crafts, comics, technology
Consider taking free classes through your local library

Create a home healing space with items that bring you peace and rejuvenation. Consider inviting others to join you in your healing space

Create a beautiful garden with colorful flowers and fragrant plants
Install bird baths and bird feeders to invite some colorful sing-song visitors
Set up a gaming or sports den to enjoy your favorite entertainment at home
Create a drink or coffee station with different herbs, citrus fruits, coffees, and flavors
Create a crafts station to immerse yourself in creative hobbies and beautiful art

Go for daily walks

Consider visiting different neighborhoods and parks in your area each day
Walk with a pet, or call a friend or family member to chat

Make new friends who have had similar caregiving experiences

Consider starting or attending a caregiving support group
Ask for practical advice and support from others who get it

Ask a friend or family member to stay with your loved one while you get a short self-care break

If no one lives nearby, consider asking a friend or family member to FaceTime with your loved one or have a virtual game/movie night

Take care of your own health needs

Seek your own mental health treatment and support when you need it
Attend regular doctor and dentist appointments
Address aches and pains doing guided stretches or booking an in-home massage

Move your body every day

Walk, run, swim, bike, or walk around the dining table or up and down the driveway if that’s what is available
Consider exercising with a friend or neighbor who can join you on a regular basis

Eat a variety of nutritious foods

Try finding a new fruit or vegetable at the farmer’s market or produce aisle to try each month

Use all your senses to savor the present moment, making the most of small, everyday delights

Take in the fragrance of the flowers, fruits and lotions in the grocery store
Savor the flavor of your favorite foods each time you eat them
Enjoy the texture of different surfaces, fabrics, or fidget toys

Read or recite positive caregiving affirmations

“I am courageous and relentless”
“I am valuable and important”
“My life is full of learning and growth”
"My future is full of happiness and laughter”
"I invite abundance and happiness into my life”
“My love is pure and unconditional”
“The care I give today will echo in my loved one’s heart forever”

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Call: 800-950-NAMI (6264)

Text: 62640

Email: helpline@nami.org

Website: www.nami.org/help