How can I find a therapist who is a good fit for me?

Psychotherapy requires a very personal connection with a therapist, and it’s not uncommon to go through a trial-and-error process to find a provider who is a good fit for you or your loved one. The important thing is to find one that you or your loved one trust and feel heard by.

Consider the following tips for finding a psychotherapist who is a good fit:

Think about your goals for therapy. What are you hoping to get out of mental health treatment? What is your daily experience like now, and what do you hope for it to be like in the future? What skills would you like to come away with?

Consider what type of therapy or treatment provider you'd like to work with. Like doctors, therapists have specialties, so you may wish to find one who knows about your specific condition. Some concerns, like stress and self-esteem, may not require a therapist that has as much specialized training. Other mental health conditions like post-traumatic stress disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder, or an eating disorder may benefit from working with a therapist who has specialized training in treating these conditions.

While a therapist can work with you to determine what type of therapy may best meet your needs, doing some research yourself can prepare you for the conversation and help locate a therapist that is trained to offer the specific type of mental health treatment you’re looking for. To learn more about common treatments for different mental health conditions, visit the Mental Health Conditions page on NAMI’s website.

Ask a few questions. Getting some information upfront can help you figure out if a therapist is a fit for you. Some possible questions to ask a potential therapist include:

What education, license and specialty certifications do you have?
What kind of therapy do you practice? What is your approach to treatment?
Have you worked with people similar to me? For how long?
How will we work together to set goals and assess my progress?

Consider cultural competence. Many people find it easier to open up with people who can relate to their background and experiences. While all therapists are trained in empathy, having a therapist who is part of your community, or who has experience working with people from your community, can make a difference. Here are a few factors you might consider:

Gender identity: can I connect with this therapist about important experiences related to my gender?
Age: can I connect with this therapist about important experiences related to my age?
Racial or cultural background: does this therapist welcome people of my cultural or racial background? Do they share an important racial or cultural identity with me that makes it more likely they will understand my needs and experiences?
Specialization in LGBTQI issues: does this therapist welcome people of my gender/sexual identity? Are they experienced in navigating challenges related to living as an LGBTQ+ individual?
Religious affiliations: does this therapist integrate faith into their mental health interventions? Will they understand how my religious beliefs impact my experience with mental health?
Language fluency: does this therapist speak the language that I am most comfortable expressing myself in? Will they understand the terms I use to describe my symptoms and feelings?
Socioeconomic/demographic background: does this therapist understand how my financial status or the area I live(d) has affected my mental health? Do they understand what kind of resources are available in my area?

Check in with yourself. Give some thought to what you’re looking for in a clinician. Some people prefer a therapist who does a lot of listening; others are looking for a more active approach that includes coping skills and feedback. Be aware of how it feels talking to a potential therapist and whether you feel heard and understood.

Assess the relationship fit. After the first few appointments, it is important to consider whether you connect with your therapist. Some possible questions to consider:

Do you feel comfortable talking to them?
Do you feel supported and hopeful after sessions?
Do you feel like you can express what is important to you?
Do you feel an increasing sense of positive change in your life?

Ask for what you need. If there is something about your therapy that doesn’t seem to be working, try bringing it up with your therapist to see if there are any changes that can be made to your treatment goals or the strategies your therapist uses to help you reach those goals. Successfully navigating a tough conversation can strengthen your therapeutic relationship and make it easier to open up to your mental health provider about other difficult things.

Expect to try a few. Finding someone you click with can take some trial and error. Trying out several therapists is a normal part of the process for many people. With a little persistence, you'll find a therapist who will listen to you, take your perspective into consideration and work with you to improve your sense of wellbeing.

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