My child lives with a mental health condition. How can I support them when they go off to college?

A child going off to college is a hopeful and exciting time. But for many parents, this time also brings worry and concern. Will my child be OK on their own? Do they know how to speak up and get their needs met? Will they be treated kindly?

If your child lives with a mental health condition, these worries might be front of mind for you. Having a mental health condition can make completing assignments, managing time, getting along with others, and making safe choices tough for some people.

But there is good news: with help and support, many young adults who live with mental health conditions succeed in college and go on to live rewarding, fulfilling lives.

Below, we’ve outlined some strategies and resources that can help you support your child as they go off to college. We hope they will be useful for your family.

Coordinate Care

If your child is moving away for college, they may need to work with a new therapist or psychiatrist. When possible, help them find new providers in advance. Encourage your child to sign a release of information so their current provider can share information with their new provider. If you sign a release of information before your child turns 18, keep in mind that they will need to sign a new one when they turn 18. Ask them if they will sign a release of information for you to continue being involved in their care, too.

Be sure you have a full record of your child’s mental health treatment history before they transition providers. That way, you can provide that information if you need to assist them in coordinating future care or in a crisis.

Help your child learn about their university’s health system and counseling center, in case they ever need help from someone on campus.

If your child is traveling home for a holiday or semester break, encourage them to talk with their providers about their medication and support needs while they are traveling back home.

Make a Plan Together

Before your child goes off to college, ask them to sit down and make a plan with you about how they can take care of their mental health while they’re away at school.

This plan should include things like:

What can they do to take care of their mental health each day? (e.g., get enough sleep, eat well, get out of their dorm, spend time with friends, visit the wellness center)
How will they know if their mental health is not OK? What signs and symptoms can they look out for (e.g., missing class, staying up all night, eating less, crying spells)?
When they notice signs that their mental health is not OK, what will they do? Who will they reach out to?
Make a list that includes their mental health providers’ contact information, your contact information, the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, and any other close family and friends that can support them.
Make a list of coping strategies and actions that have helped them take care of their mental health in the past.
If their mental health is affecting their academic performance, what can they do? Are there tutoring resources they can use? Does the school have other services to support students who live with mental health conditions?

If your child is open to it, consider saving this plan in a shared note or document that you can both access from your phone at any time. Written plans are also helpful.

Explore Accommodations and Other Academic Supports

If formal accommodations could help your child succeed in school, or if they received accommodations in high school, help them contact the college’s Office of Student Services or a Student Disability Services Office. Support them in providing documentation of their mental health history and needs. If they had an Individualized Education Plan (IEP) or 504 Plan for support and accommodations in high school, they can provide this documentation as well. In some cases, a person’s 504 Plan can carry over into college.

Help your child ask the student services office what supports they have in place for students who live with mental health conditions. Have them write down any helpful tips or information they learn in their plan above.

Reference the Active Minds Leave of Absence Guide if there is ever a time where your child must consider a leave of absence from school because their mental health is getting in the way of succeeding academically.

Practice Talking about Mental Health Concerns with Safe People

We’ve come a long way when it comes to fighting mental health stigma, but talking about mental health can still be hard. Your child may worry their peers will find out about their mental health condition, and they may choose not to share this information with new friends.

For many young adults who experience a mental health crisis in college, friends and roommates are the first people to notice behavior changes and reach out to the person’s family or school mental health resources for help. Encouraging your loved one to talk with people close to them about their mental health needs could help them get support like this when they need it.

Consider asking, “Would you like to practice talking with me about your mental health, like you would your roommate or a friend in college? It’s important you know you’re not alone in this. There are so many people who care and want to help.”

Recognize that it is ultimately your child’s choice whether they disclose their mental health condition to others. But if they have the tools to talk about their mental health and ask for support when they need it, they will be better equipped to navigate mental health challenges when they do come up.

Schedule Regular Check-ins

Plan regular check-ins before your child leaves for college. It could be a weekly or bi-weekly phone call, or perhaps a monthly in-person visit. Try not to focus the time on just your child’s mental health or how they are doing in school. A strong relationship can make a world of difference for someone going through mental health challenges; just connecting with one another over shared interests, experiences, and care for one another is enough.

Regular connection with someone familiar with their mental health needs can help. Ask your child if there’s a sibling, high school friend, or another close person they’d like to plan regular check-ins with while they’re away.

Remember They Will Fall and Get Back Up

Going off to college comes with exciting opportunities and newfound independence for every young adult. Developmentally, it’s important that young adults take this opportunity to try new things, explore new ideas and relationships, and learn how to manage important aspects of day-to-day life on their own.

Even for youth who do not live with a mental health condition, this transition can be difficult. It usually takes a few years, and a lot of trial-and-error, before someone feels fully confident managing their own personal, physical, mental, and relational needs.

This opportunity to learn, to fail, to fall down, and to get back up and try again is critically important. Whenever possible, communicate to your child that you believe in their ability to do hard things. If some of those things are made tougher by a mental health condition, remind them of the tools, resources, and strategies they have to succeed. This approach has the best chance at leaving your loved one feeling supported, empowered, and capable – all things you hope for them to come away from their college experience with.

Know the Laws

Two federal privacy laws apply to college students’ right to privacy: the Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act (FERPA) and the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act (HIPAA).

Generally, your child must give written permission for health and education information to be shared with you. However, these laws do not prevent you from sharing information with healthcare providers and school staff if your child has a mental health emergency.

There are also exceptions to these laws which allow healthcare providers and faculty to share information with you in emergency circumstances, even without the written consent of your loved one.

Most colleges and universities have information about FERPA and how it applies to students and parents on their website. The U.S. Department of Education webpage When is it permissible to utilize FERPA’s health or safety emergency exception for disclosures? also has useful information for parents.

For more information about navigating HIPAA when your child has a mental health crisis, please read the following HelpLine Knowledge Articles:

Additional Resources

NAMI’s Mental Health College Guide covers topics like self-care, getting mental health support, legal rights, and self-advocacy.

NAMI How to Disclose Your Mental Health Condition webpage provides a thoughtful overview of when and to whom your child may disclose their mental health condition in college.

We are so glad you found this information. NAMI HelpLine offers a Family Caregiver Service. It brings together family caregivers with shared experiences and equips HelpLine Specialists with knowledge and insights into what helps. If you are a family caregiver and would like support from a peer, we encourage you to call the NAMI Family Caregiver HelpLine at 800-950-NAMI (6264) or send a text to 62640. We are available Monday through Friday, from 10:00 am to 10:00 pm EST.

Hours of operation: Monday-Friday, 10 a.m. – 10 p.m. EST

Call: 800-950-NAMI (6264)

Text: 62640

Email: helpline@nami.org

Website: www.nami.org/help